My memoir , if it can be called so.

Sometimes, thoughts just hit you , hard , harder than they have ever before and its then when you write. Seldom , i crave to live in past but when i do , it takes all leaps and bounds.Nostalgia is empowering me.
     T.I.T Bhiwani has taught me far more than what IMT can teach me.I spent most crucial years of my life there.The refreshing scent of the first-ever feelings aromizes me even today.There are videos , all high definitions ,put subtly classified in my mind.Videos of long fruitless talks , with people whom i am closest to. Videos of cricket , videos of almost every basketball match we played( and won) in intra college tournaments.Videos of Nidhi Sharma teaching us something( i really dont know what).I remember EME laabs , physics labs , everything and everything and i know these videos have been hard burned on my hard disk.
    I remember how dumb i was( i am now too ) when they people asked me to accompany them to Shimla and i because of my borish and boring and non-adventurous attitude will never say Yes to them , and then they even didnt go without me.'We' were like that.
'Mittal' is in Mumbai , Accenture ,i think. Sensible and studious he is but still accounts significantly to a lot of total rubbish we talked.'Sophistication' is his virtue.Every girl admired his brotherish attitude.He managed to have a girl friend and unshockingly , they never ever had a fight.God Save!!!!!!
'Vashisth' is as lazy as ever.He always suggested ideas which somehow , will reduce human effort.He never ever used his hands to get his door shut.Instead used his bums , because work done by one hand to get lifted to certain height and then transfering momentum to the gate is far greater than work done by his bums to transfer the momentum. He was famous for something which is every man's envy. We had many Bhabhi's.None of them ever even looked at him.He is in Pune.
God swear , I never ever heard 'Rajpal' talking sense.NEVER EVER.I really dont know why TCS recruited him.He would take 5 times the normal time to study one chapter , and then  he would roam around in the hostel to tell people about this feat he achieved
'Jindal' is in Chennai.Accenture , again.A long time since we talked. Heard he is getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
and to the girl he always wanted .So cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.i am so happy for the  almost-bald boy from dadri .
'Sharma' and  ' Yadav ' are lost. Sharma and I had some issues fro some time , but in the end we were back again.He was the first guy i met in TIT. I and Sharma stopped talking for a while , then talked again , stopped again and then we were made to talk in the last days of our college. Soaked up by TCS , I think he is waiting his joining . I really have no idea where Yadav is. No contact . nothing. Actually we never had an idea , in the college too where he was. He would go to home and then would stay there until there are exams and woulg go bcak again. He perhaps , was and is , nicest boy amongst us.
Destiny , if you name chances so , pulled back me and Godara back into the same place. Here at IMT G , we are not roomies as we were in the First year of our college , but still spend considerable time together. He says , he does not love his so called ex girlfriend anymore but still cares lot about her , and whenever under spell , he keeps on telling the ages-old story of how good she was. Stubborn and obstinate he is and i really cant praise him here even if i want to. Perhaps , i would praise him when he we will not be together , after this college, i guess.
Joon has conquered his love of lifetime and loves visiting chandigarh.He is going to marry soon ( as he has been forced to ).Gem of a boy ,he is a guy so perseverant that he has half of the time in TIT doing his soceity work.
I dont know how can this Dahiya can be described in words, i wonder if he was just over emotional or over sensitive or what!!!!!!!!. currently in GAP , he is my silver lining in the dark cloud , as far as one front of my future is concerned.

Something more happened , though I never ever expected it. I with a girl!!!! Though its a weird thought , but sometimes nightmares may come true. I eloped , with lady of my dreams , and have never looked back since then . I remember vividly and distinctly how i expressed  my feelings and she blushingly and very happily , just smiled and gave me some lame reason for not conforming , just at that instant . I knew she had fallen for me . I knew she fell for me much earlier ,but  just later than when i fell for her , perhaps during first year. I can feel how i felt when i stood by her side in the physics dark room ( my blushings). I can smell her aroma now. I can feel how jealous i felt when she danced with some other guy during some cultural function . I would just keep on looking at her while in class , and i would love to be called by her name. I had observed her so diligently and for so long that i still remember each of her expressions and habit. We are still together . May be we will be always , but those days will be remembered , forever. We still love to discuss days and occasionally , we do cry . Can first emotions-of-love can be ever forgetted?

I miss the best part of my life , when i just learnt and gained and lost nothing. I miss those people . I miss that place .I am missing them.

Estranged thoughts , simplified.

Until now , I had a different perception. I used to think that life , at last , is fair to everybody.In one way or another , sooner or later, life in some of its form bestows everybody with the ultimate product , happiness.I used to think those who suffer now, will be happier someday , proportionally.I used to think-- my time will come. But times may never come. you can never say. Death , the other form of life: i must say , may grace you well before you so-called times.All the people in the world not happy with their lives , till their last breath.

      i heard of some lady committing suicide after months of deep depression.
       Didnt she deserve happiness?

      Many a times i saw some mentally and psychology disturbed person here-abouting in the middle of road.
      Where is his share of happiness?

     Life is not always fair. Sometimes just letting go off things is the best way to tackle something. But it is possible that it may not work. Your trouble may deepen.or it may work. You can never say. You can never be so sure about anything. when you are sad , you cant be so sure that you will be happy the next day , or the next , or the next , or ever. Even if you are a theist. Even if you followed every of HIS ideology.Even then , it may be dark forever or it may be vice versa.

Life may challenge you in its own strange way and however hard you try ,you may not pass , EVER.

I am an atheist , and i write what i think.

Simple penning of estranged thoughts.

I welcome winters ,inside myself too.

First time in last 2 months ,the J-43 of IMT-G is dark and sleepy at just quarter-to-one.My roomie is asleep.I, sitting on my chair and a newly well arranged table , am thinking of writing something.Lots to write.Long since i didnt write.Writing is the best escape for me from my mental cobweb. Its the third best thing i do to myself.

    Summers are on trailing behind. Life has changed a lot during these summers. New people , new acquaintances ,good people , not so good people, flattery , sycophancy , diligence, love , belongingness---there are many things which i have experienced , in extreme , in a short span of 2 months of my stay here. I have evolved ,in some aspects and I have fallen back in some. I cant say how and why it is happening but i am , somehow , falling short of acumen.Instinct , killer instinct has been galloped down by the maze. The good thing is i am realizing this.I dont know i have not daydreamt since when, and it is not at all a good sign. One must be able to see his future. One must have a clear image of how he wants his future to be.How can i be missing this thing? Cant say , but i am going on on , without thinking much , without contemplations. But things will change and somehow now , i am able to see that.

   The windows have been opened.Oxygen is gushing inside.I can feel the warmth of winters.Summers , for sure are gone.Its time for winter and the beautiful bright charming sunshine of the winter sunIts time to rejoice.

 I will back but with some glories.

 I welcome winters, inside myself too and i am happy.

cheers to winter